Right now, one week ago, I was walking, talking--living my Blanche. Tonight, I am sitting at home kind of bummed out. I had planned on going to see some other friend's shows (which there are plenty of at this time of year). I decided to just be here to refocus on my life and home. Tomorrow and Sunday will be a different story entirely.
This past week has gone quickly, and I have tended to sleep as much as possible between obligations. I found myself watching the entire Twin Peaks series, and I am more than half-way through it. My husband was randomly watching Fire Walk With Me on Monday. I dove in. I haven't really come up since. Such simple and honest acting, staging, writing....tension, etc. I love it. It has been long enough that this rediscovery has been fresh and new. I can't recommend it more, and it has kept me up late hours. It is wonderful to watch it all back to back. It is an amazing and well thought out "film" (if you will--considering the amount of episodes) that will endure the test of time.
My much-neglected basic life necessities have, once again, come into the light of my vision. Taxes have been completed, summer camps for my students are being finalized, family visits planned, and social engagements are beginning to joyfully clutter my Spring/Summer calendar. I even cleaned the counters off in my kitchen with great detail and thoughts of reorganization. But, as you can probably tell, I am feeling a loss here.
Like you probably understood in my last blog, it is hard sometimes for an actor to lay a character to rest. If we really enjoy playing a particular character, there is sometimes the secret hope that the show will somehow be extended or other opportunities will come up to play it again. This is rarely the case, sadly, and I guess it is a rather difficult part of our process.
I have this graveyard in my soul for characters I have played. There have been so very many over the years. My years of improvisation have given me tons of wonderful well drawn out characters that have only fleeted for sometimes less than 3 minutes. I remember them, though. Not all of them, but the ones who have impacted my life. It is not a plotted graveyard, just a little bubble in my soul. I have been thinking about, however, what sort of tombstone my dear Blanche Dubois would receive. She has been very special to me. And in an actor's imaginary graveyard, price is no object. She would be close to the center of it all, I think. Such power, such beauty, such need for attention.
I often worry that I may be a handful in my old age and be easily mistaken and drugged for a schizophrenic. If senility should set in, who knows what character would say what at any given time if my body leaves me to my imagination. Based on the folks I have played, the range of perspectives is tremendous. I hope the people who care for me in the case of memory loss will be informed that I am an actress. Otherwise, great mistakes could be made and I could be sent to court or Jerry Springer for the retribution of some of my more unsavory (yet comedic) stage characters who were more shady and were in need of being found out.
Back to Blanche:
My posture has improved, I have lost a ton of weight and am eating smaller portions, I am a blonde...I mean, there are some certain aspects, transitions I have made to this particular character that are difficult to consider ever changing back. I won't probably. Time will tell.
All this Twin Peaks watching has got me to thinking. First of all, why on Earth would I find myself watching this series the week after my show closed. It is very random, isn't it?
Dare I say it? Blanche had "some" ever-so-positive "Bob" qualities. She has left me with the memory of living her life--as all characters do, performing her necessary deeds...but she is gone from me now. Yet, she had to be let go--asked to leave--if not forced out rather than making her own choice to go. Stanley was eternally correct when he said that "her future is mapped out for her." I wish she had the strength to make stronger choices, to fight harder...but it is just not in her composition.
So, I guess I am not finished with My Blanche Dublog. It is not finished.
I must tell you that I have friends marrying in New Orleans in May. I can't wait to let you know of that journey and will post photos. I will also post photos and perhaps video of the show on here.
Thank you. Thank you for reading.
This past week has gone quickly, and I have tended to sleep as much as possible between obligations. I found myself watching the entire Twin Peaks series, and I am more than half-way through it. My husband was randomly watching Fire Walk With Me on Monday. I dove in. I haven't really come up since. Such simple and honest acting, staging, writing....tension, etc. I love it. It has been long enough that this rediscovery has been fresh and new. I can't recommend it more, and it has kept me up late hours. It is wonderful to watch it all back to back. It is an amazing and well thought out "film" (if you will--considering the amount of episodes) that will endure the test of time.
My much-neglected basic life necessities have, once again, come into the light of my vision. Taxes have been completed, summer camps for my students are being finalized, family visits planned, and social engagements are beginning to joyfully clutter my Spring/Summer calendar. I even cleaned the counters off in my kitchen with great detail and thoughts of reorganization. But, as you can probably tell, I am feeling a loss here.
Like you probably understood in my last blog, it is hard sometimes for an actor to lay a character to rest. If we really enjoy playing a particular character, there is sometimes the secret hope that the show will somehow be extended or other opportunities will come up to play it again. This is rarely the case, sadly, and I guess it is a rather difficult part of our process.
I have this graveyard in my soul for characters I have played. There have been so very many over the years. My years of improvisation have given me tons of wonderful well drawn out characters that have only fleeted for sometimes less than 3 minutes. I remember them, though. Not all of them, but the ones who have impacted my life. It is not a plotted graveyard, just a little bubble in my soul. I have been thinking about, however, what sort of tombstone my dear Blanche Dubois would receive. She has been very special to me. And in an actor's imaginary graveyard, price is no object. She would be close to the center of it all, I think. Such power, such beauty, such need for attention.
I often worry that I may be a handful in my old age and be easily mistaken and drugged for a schizophrenic. If senility should set in, who knows what character would say what at any given time if my body leaves me to my imagination. Based on the folks I have played, the range of perspectives is tremendous. I hope the people who care for me in the case of memory loss will be informed that I am an actress. Otherwise, great mistakes could be made and I could be sent to court or Jerry Springer for the retribution of some of my more unsavory (yet comedic) stage characters who were more shady and were in need of being found out.
Back to Blanche:
My posture has improved, I have lost a ton of weight and am eating smaller portions, I am a blonde...I mean, there are some certain aspects, transitions I have made to this particular character that are difficult to consider ever changing back. I won't probably. Time will tell.
All this Twin Peaks watching has got me to thinking. First of all, why on Earth would I find myself watching this series the week after my show closed. It is very random, isn't it?
Dare I say it? Blanche had "some" ever-so-positive "Bob" qualities. She has left me with the memory of living her life--as all characters do, performing her necessary deeds...but she is gone from me now. Yet, she had to be let go--asked to leave--if not forced out rather than making her own choice to go. Stanley was eternally correct when he said that "her future is mapped out for her." I wish she had the strength to make stronger choices, to fight harder...but it is just not in her composition.
So, I guess I am not finished with My Blanche Dublog. It is not finished.
I must tell you that I have friends marrying in New Orleans in May. I can't wait to let you know of that journey and will post photos. I will also post photos and perhaps video of the show on here.
Thank you. Thank you for reading.
