Sunday, February 20, 2011

#15 "a fake so real I'm beyond fake" -C. Love

 Nine days. 

Nine days until I am supposed to be off book.  (Off Book = completely memorized,  and without the script in hand during rehearsal...if we get lost, we call "line" so that the stage manager will tell us our line to continue us on our journey throughout the scene).  The date has been set for March 1st.  I have 12 monologues and 100 pages of dialogue to memorize before then...much less with blocking as well as intentions for each line/scene...ugh.

Surprising to me, I have found myself listening to the band, Hole.  A lot.  A tremendous amount of the time.  I guess I see the connection.  When I first started this blog, I heard one of their songs while I watched a "long parade to the graveyard" in front of me in beautiful, sad snow one morning.  Since then, I have been finding myself listening to Hole more than I listen to the news.  I am a big fan of the news.  So this is significant.  I have to let it happen with the understanding that something has to be needed here.  In life, as well as when developing characters, we have to always be aware of what our Universe is sending to us.  We have no choice but to simply acknowledge and appreciate what we receive, then cultivate it.  Otherwise, what's the point?

You must understand that liking/listening to Hole is almost like cheating on Kurt Cobain.  It's like cheating on the whole grunge movement  and every wonderful band in it....to listen to Cortney Love like I have been.  She is sort of like the enjoying Plastic Joan and being a member of  improvland.  Yet, I have to say...Hole is pretty good.  Sorry.  It's true.  It is a band with a message.  They deliver their song in every song: "I was hurt, I see what is going on."  It is always nice to listen to bands that understand their message.  I can see how Blanche, in modern day, would be tantalized by Hole.  I'm letting her have it.  I'm riding along as the actor as I let Blanche somewhat drive the...streetcar..if you will, for a while..  Ms. Love lost a young husband who was a poet as well...I see why the Blanche part of me wants to listen to her band.  I think, perhaps, had Blanche known how to play guitar, her outcome would have been quite different..yet, sort of the same.

So, anyway, I have around 12 monologues to learn plus all that dialogue of 100 pages.  Sigh.  I don't know how to tackle such a project.  Again, I am not in an Equity Union show.  I am scrapping time together to get this baby going for free.  I am trying right now to nail down those speeches...and am keeping the dialogue as secondary..but that's not right for my fellow actors, is it?  I don't know.  I had a rehearsal today with Stanley and Stella.  It was so surprising and lovely to look into each other's eyes in those moment when we didn't need our scripts as we were on that stage as our characters.  We have a fine show brewing, I can say.  I love the investment ....I saw the characters instead of the actors--face to face if only for little snippets of time.  It will be easy to get lost in Blanche onstage with these folks.

"A fake so real I'm beyond fake"  this is a lyric from a Hole song which could easily apply to Blanche.
 I will take this lyric to bed and cradle it along with my lines tonight.



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