Did you hear that sound? Listen close.... It is the biggest sigh of relief you will have ever heard from me regarding finally getting to where I need to be prior to a show opening.
The light at the end of the tunnel has shown itself brightly; and here I am, not a moment too soon, ready to bask in all it's glory! Tonight, Tech Tuesday, of all nights it truly happened for me. Beginning to end. Blanche, Blanche, Blanche all the way. She took over and lived her play just as I had expected.
What a relief! I can't say that I didn't see it coming. I am sure it wasn't perfect. But tonight, the world's worst critic regarding me and Blanche (myself) fell silent in the car on the way home. At 11:40 PM I got into the car and turned on the radio to hear that lovely song, Crystal Blue Persuasion by The Shondells. (A link to the song on youtube is: http://youtu.be/7M0r1iSeiHUIt) couldn't have been more soothing. No tension in my shoulders. No beating myself up for missing something stupid. Just that. Me and Crystal Blue Persuasion.
I don't even know what I did during tonight's rehearsal. I was that far gone, for the most part. Every once in a while I noticed my body trembling or heard my voice say something in a brand new way...but for the most part....I had nothing to do with Blanche tonight.
Of course, we are getting our notes emailed to us. It is possible the director found my work tonight to be disgustingly terrible, but all I can do right now is feel deep, blessed relief.
She is completely and absolutely here, and I am happy with her.
The nice thing is that now that she is complete, she can only get better. I am hoping for magic when we have audiences. We have one rehearsal left sans audiences, and I am so grateful to have it just to get everything into even a better spot.
So, it has all been worth it. Every day of me staring at that script. Every messy spot in my house. Every researched detail. Every bit of Blanchersize and Dudiet has paid off. She is ready to live and breathe once a night for 10 more nights.
She is here! She is here! She is here! And, I'm still here, too. Still reeling, exhausted, and dizzy from that insane fever-rich flu.
We are both.
Here.
The light at the end of the tunnel has shown itself brightly; and here I am, not a moment too soon, ready to bask in all it's glory! Tonight, Tech Tuesday, of all nights it truly happened for me. Beginning to end. Blanche, Blanche, Blanche all the way. She took over and lived her play just as I had expected.
What a relief! I can't say that I didn't see it coming. I am sure it wasn't perfect. But tonight, the world's worst critic regarding me and Blanche (myself) fell silent in the car on the way home. At 11:40 PM I got into the car and turned on the radio to hear that lovely song, Crystal Blue Persuasion by The Shondells. (A link to the song on youtube is: http://youtu.be/7M0r1iSeiHUIt) couldn't have been more soothing. No tension in my shoulders. No beating myself up for missing something stupid. Just that. Me and Crystal Blue Persuasion.
I don't even know what I did during tonight's rehearsal. I was that far gone, for the most part. Every once in a while I noticed my body trembling or heard my voice say something in a brand new way...but for the most part....I had nothing to do with Blanche tonight.
Of course, we are getting our notes emailed to us. It is possible the director found my work tonight to be disgustingly terrible, but all I can do right now is feel deep, blessed relief.
She is completely and absolutely here, and I am happy with her.
The nice thing is that now that she is complete, she can only get better. I am hoping for magic when we have audiences. We have one rehearsal left sans audiences, and I am so grateful to have it just to get everything into even a better spot.
So, it has all been worth it. Every day of me staring at that script. Every messy spot in my house. Every researched detail. Every bit of Blanchersize and Dudiet has paid off. She is ready to live and breathe once a night for 10 more nights.
She is here! She is here! She is here! And, I'm still here, too. Still reeling, exhausted, and dizzy from that insane fever-rich flu.
We are both.
Here.
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