#20 As The Candle Burns Down

Oh my.  Oh my.  I have been through some shaky rehearsals this week with all my new developing friends.  The set is coming together & at today's rehearsal we even had some of the lighting set up.  It was delightful to work under stage lights as opposed to work lights (work lights are just overhead lights--typically very bright and merciless).  I can't tell you too much about the set, but it looks very neat and uniform.  I can say that.  Costume pieces and hand props--such as purses, gloves, plates, glasses have made their way into the actor's hands.  We all continue to call for "line" from our stage manager who will give us the words we cannot find from the script in the heat of the moment.  Yes, it is coming along.  Banging along the tracks, if you will.

When I took on this role, I didn't truly comprehend the enormity and wealth of lines this character has.  I swear she is on nearly every page.  I began to realize it when I highlighted everything in the sea of orange.  But, I will tell you that I am about to go off the deep end trying to gather all these words into my brain in an organized manner.  It is taking up more time than any character I have ever played, ever.  I have done two person shows, even a one person show...but this!  My.  My.  All I can do is keep at it.  I worry a lot about it, but I try to put the worry to work by pouring that energy into looking at the script.

Physically, I have lost 7 pounds.  That's around a pound a week which isn't too horrible to do to one's body.  However, I have been giving up meals and exercising maybe a bit too much. 

It seems that when I am doing anything other than looking at my script, I feel like I am cheating on Blanche.  It's crazy to think about it this way.  I have a full life here!  I must say that I can run through act one in my head now and am script free.  I still have work to do on act two, for sure.  I have very few rehearsals left prior to tech week and the play's opening.  It's down to the wire. 

Even this blog is taking me away from Blanche, but I do have several readers who have asked me to make sure I let you know what is going on in the thick of things.  Well, here I am, absolutely in the thick of things. 

My house is an absolute mess, I have tears in my eyes a lot after working on the script, my family thinks I am bonkers and too busy to spend time with them.  I am learning what it is like to have a fragile skin...skin more fragile than an eggshell....ready to crack at any moment.  Tenderness, sweetness, and tragedy are making their way into my heart, my voice, and my body.

It's a lot.  I know when I am on and when I am not on in rehearsal.  Today was hard.  I was so easily distracted by all the stuff going on off stage.  Blanche is easily affected by unexpected sounds.  So, anyway...I blew it today.  I am back at the script hard this evening.  Writing to you was my little break, and I am glad to have done it.  I feel better.

Thanks.